


The Teen Hero Squad vs Megamind

by Elf_Kid



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Discrimination, Evil Monologues as advice, Gen, Metro Man takes a vacation, Solidarity, Teen Hero Squad is ready to prove they have what it takes, or are they?, what could go wrong?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23693548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elf_Kid/pseuds/Elf_Kid
Summary: When Metro Man goes on vacation, it's up to the Teen Hero Squad to defend Metro City in his absence! It's their first big mission as a team, and they're ready for anything Metro City can throw at them. Will they prove they have what it takes to become full members of the League of Heroes?What could possibly go wrong?
Comments: 108
Kudos: 155





	1. Call to Action

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to the Megamind server on Discord! Certain plot-elements here were heavily inspired by discussion-threads on Discord. That thread is also what gave me motivation to finally write this! Huzzah!

“Of course; what are teams for? _Luckily_ , we happen to have a group on standby for _exactly_ this sort of situation!” Luckster leaned back in his chair, winding the phone-cord around his finger as the hero replied. “... _Yes,_ I’m serious; it was discussed at the last strategy meeting. So we’re looking at a three-week period, starting on…? Great! Enjoy that vacation, okay? You should slack off more often… I’ll have you know that _many reputable fortune-tellers_ say that relaxation and self-care for high-level supers is the key to preventing the apocalypse… No, I am not making stuff up! ...You’re lucky to have me and you know it. See you soon!”

He hung up the phone, then sighed as he ran a hand through his long, pink hair. Yesterday, League leadership decided that the Teen Hero Squad was ready for their first official team-assignment, pending the availability of a city in needed defending. Today, the perfect opportunity arose. Lucky, that. 

Luckster picked up the phone again, and set it down on his desk, off the hook so that the ringing wouldn’t bother him while he was out of the office. If there was a world-threatening emergency, he’d find out about it anyway, and if it was anything else, why worry?

He headed out the door, and locked his office behind him-- a manual lock, not one of those high-tech high-security things, because you can’t hack an old fashioned lock from a distance.

* * *

The teens-- five at the moment, a mix of sidekicks who weren’t quite ready to fly solo and powerful kids in need of non-Evil support and guidance-- should be training in the gym right about now. No point putting off the good news; they probably wouldn’t object to an interruption. They’d been complaining for weeks about not being given anything more important to work on. He headed down the hall with a spring in his step.

There were several reasons why Luckster had been appointed as supervisor for the League of Heroes’ teenage subsidiary branch, but two stood out.

As one of the League’s less powerful members, he’d managed to avoid the contractual obligations of city-Defenders and true heroic team-players,and thus did not, according to certain decision-makers, have anything better to do. Additionally, certain persons thought that Luckster’s fundamentally charming and irresponsible nature would allow him to bond easily with “The Youth.”

He, Luckster, defender of the beaten-down and luckless, wandering hero and friend to anyone willing to do a team-up with someone they might’ve seen in a Wanted poster, was now a glorified camp counselor to a bunch of overpowered teenagers. 

Lucky him.

Luckster, the functionally homeless wandering vigilante, was now living easy on the League’s dollar.

He had the opportunity to bond with the next generation of heroes, guaranteed food, and a fortified place to rest. There were nights where he felt like he’d gotten away from the frontlines that seemed to follow him wherever he traveled. The job lent him a touch of respectability with which to polish his reputation.

And did he mention the steady meals that other people were paying for?

Lucky indeed.

* * *

“Helloooo, Teen Hero Squad! I have good news and bad news!” Luckster announced as he flung open the doors to the gym. Tank-II put down the weights he’d been bench-pressing and stood up, Teen Sparkle flipped off the balance-beam, Gremlin and Bluejay paused their sparring-match and reverted to ‘neutral’ stances, and Greenscene put down her phone.

“Are we under attack?” Bluejay asked, twirling his staff. “I’ve been hoping to see some _real_ action!”

“Do I need my mask? I don’t have my mask! What about my secret identity?!”

“You mentioned good news! Has the ban on pizza-delivery to the hideout been lifted? Can we get pepperoni?”

“We are not under attack, and the ban on pizza-deliveries is still in place. ‘Disguised as the Pizza Guy’ is a _classic_ infiltration tactic, and we cannot risk falling for it any more,” Luckster replied, raising his hands for quiet. “However, today is your lucky day! Starting next week, you kids are going to be City Defenders,!”

“Oh really? Who died?” Greenscene asked, deadpan. Luckster realized that she didn’t have a reflection in the wall of mirrors, and refrained from rolling his eyes.

“Nobody died, and it’s against League policy to send untested heroes against threats that killed a more experienced hero… as a first resort. You’re being called in to defend a city _for a three-week period_ while their usual bigshot hero is on vacation,” he explained. “You’ll be staying at a hideout that Queen Sparkle set up, and be given a small discretionary fund to live on. Remember: groceries and first-aid supplies _first_ ; all other expenses come after.”

“Finally, a chance to prove ourselves,” Bluejay grinned, striking a pose. “I can’t wait to show them all what we can do!” Tank-II and Gremlin grinned in agreement, but the other two seemed less than impressed.

“More time stuck with you losers, now while being subjected to Teen Sparkle’s mother’s taste in interior decorating. How thrilling,” Greenscene deadpanned. “Another step on the road to heroism. Yay. Which city are we defending, and what’s the catch?”

“You kids are going to Metro City! I know that Metro Man’s got some pretty big boots to fill, but I’m sure you’ll manage it between the five of you,” Luckster said, waiving a hand dismissively. “Also, Greenscene, I know you don’t like being the center of attention, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use a decoy-hologram-thing to talk to me.” 

The illusory Greenscene stepped into the wall of mirrors and disappeared, and the real-- or so Luckster assumed-- Greenscene popped out from behind the bicycle-machines, scowling. Her hair was now in a tight braid, instead of loose curls, and her shoes were now sneakers instead of chunky black heels, but her skin was still green. Her reflection was visible as she took the place of her double beside the mirror, arms crossed and scowling.

“You were the one who said I should practice more. So, Metro City. Is this a sign of good faith in our abilities as a team, or are you just trying to set us up for failure so that we’ll ‘understand’ about ‘not being ready for the big leagues’ or something?”

“Don’t be so negative, Greenie,” Teen Sparkle said, rolling her eyes. “Just because _you_ lack confidence in your abilities doesn’t mean the rest of us have that problem!” Privately, Luckster thought that overconfidence was more dangerous than its inverse, but they were young. They’d learn.

“What kind of villains do they have in Metro City?” Tank-II asked, breaking his train of thought. “I know Metro Man’s probably one of the most powerful people in the League, so who does he have to fight?”

“There’s a fair number of villains in Metro City, but not as many as you’d think, for a city that size,” Luckster said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Judge Sludge, a corrupt politician turned literal ooze-monster, probably won’t give you too much trouble. Lady Doppler has some very strong weather-related powers, but I’m pretty sure that this is her off-season, so hopefully, you won’t have to face her while you’re in the City. I’ve heard bad things about the Doom Syndicate, though. Definitely use the buddy-system at all times; you don’t want to be caught facing those guys alone. Psycho Delic has some nasty cocktails of drugged and poisoned gases that you have to watch out for, Hot Flash has fire, which we all know is dangerous, and you _really_ do not want to get up close and personal with Destruction Worker. That guy does not mess around!”

“I’m sure we can take anything they can throw at us,” Gremlin said, leaning on her staff, her voice rich with bravado. “We’re superheroes; it’s what we do.”

“You sure about that? Luckster forgot to mention someone just now, in that little overview of Metro City villains. Really major oversight if you ask me; talking about Metro City supervillains without mentioning Megamind,” Greenscene cut in, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Gremlin’s posturing. “Bluejay, you might want to reconsider your look. I hear that blue isn’t exactly a popular color where we’re going.” The teenagers looked at Greenscene for a long moment, then silently turned toward Luckster, questions in their eyes. For once in his life, Luckster was able to offer sincere reassurance in the face of cryptic and/or ominous warnings.

“The way I hear it, he’s one of those mad-scientist types. Giant head and an ego to match, but not a lot of power to back up all the posturing. Word on the street is that he’s a bit of a loser, and he’s managed to make himself _very_ unpopular in Metro City, but I’m sure you can-- nevermind. Don’t want to jinx it.”

“Don’t worry about it, chief,” Tank-II said, cracking his knuckles. “We’ve got the strength,and the power; we can make our own luck. We can handle anything this science-nerd throws at us!”

“Yes, because experienced supervillains are soooo easy to defeat through raw power. Not prone to fighting dirty and coming out with dangerous new tricks when you least expect it at _all._ ” Luckster wasn’t sure if the extra _sharp and fangy_ look to his charge’s teeth was an illusion, or a sign of the illusion slipping, but either way was concerning. Before he could say something to soothe and defuse the situation, another teen spoke.

“My Sensei says that a defeatist attitude will ensure that you know well the taste of defeat,” Bluejay said, giving his teammate a measured look. “You’ve gotta stop being such a downer about everything, Green Girl.”

“It’s _Greenscene_ , you poser. Get it right,” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “I’m guessing nobody else here’s even _read_ the files on Metro City?”

“You know I don’t believe in reading files,” Luckster shrugged. “I find it’s better to trust my instincts and listen to people, not papers. So! Was there any info you’d like to share with the class?”

Greenscene shook her head, light and shadow suddenly conspiring to give her a far more ominous appearance. Luckster felt that he’d missed his chance to deescalate things, and that the missed opportunity would, as always, come back to bite him. 

“You’ve made your opinions about my threat-assessment skills clear,” she said, teeth sharp and fingertips looking more like claws than nails. “If it’s important… you’ll find out.”


	2. Not Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Teen Hero Squad faces their first TV interview, and their first battle, in Metro City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you to know that Megamind is working Very Hard to avoid accidentally killing anyone in this chapter! Have fun!

Tank-II didn’t really see the point of the whole interview song and dance. 

They were supposed to be heroes, not celebrities! They should be helping people; they should be seeing some  _ real  _ action, not posing for their fifteen minutes of fame! Yet, here they were, taping interviews for the local news. 

The girls were all glammed up with makeup and hairspray-- or in Greenscene’s case, warpaint and ribbons.  Then there was also the issue of costumes. 

Bluejay’s  _ blue  _ wingsuit had been replaced with a grey one because of something about “Local Sentiments,” and Bluejay was very loudly outraged about it, right up until it was time for them to go on camera. 

Meanwhile, Teen Sparkle kept going on about how her costume  _ hadn’t _ been replaced. Apparently, her plans to debut a bold new persona had been thwarted by Queen Sparkle ’s insistance that she “ _could pick her own costume when she could pay her own rent._ ” So Teen Sparkle was stuck in a more childish version of her mentor’s pink & gold glitter, and she could not. Stop. Whining about it! 

Tank-II didn’t see what the big deal was. Dad always said to wear your costume until it wore out or you got a chance at an armor-upgrade, whichever came first. Why worry about how it looks on TV, as long as you know it can take a hit? 

But nobody asked  _ his  _ opinion. 

* * *

“This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting in studio. With me tonight...,”  _ It was barely noon, but the interview wouldn’t be aired till later _ “The Teen Hero Squad! How does it feel to be in Metro City?”

“We’re glad to be here,” Tank-II said. The PR stunt would probably keep the cops from shooting on sight, at least. “It’s an honor to have this opportunity to protect our citizens and get one step closer to full membership with the League.”

“I know that some of you have worked with mentors from the League of Heroes before being accepted into the Teen Hero Squad. Tell me, do you see your path of heroism as carrying on a legacy, or as a chance to step out of your mentors’ shadows?”

“It’s an honor to carry on the family legacy,” Teen Sparkle said, without the vicious sarcasm from before the cameras started rolling. “We all want to make our mentors proud.”

“It’s not about the glory,” Bluejay said with equal hypocrisy. “It’s about protecting people and doing what’s right!’ Roxanne turned to Tank-II. Apparently, he was also expected to answer.

“I guess I haven’t thought about it, really,” he shrugged.  _ Never admit to thinking, _ Dad always said. “Figured I should focus on getting the job done now, worry about reputations later.” 

* * *

**“How does it feel to know that THIS will be the day that I,** ** _MEGAMIND_** **,** **finally defeat-- wait,** ** _what?_** **”** The voice booming from the speakers paused. **“Minion, who are these people in the knock-off hero costumes?** **Street-performers of some kind? Where’s Metro Man?”**

“We’re the Teen Hero Squad, and you’re going down!”

* * *

The interviewer was obviously playing softball with them. Every question Metro Man’s girlfriend threw at them was the kind with obvious, safe answers, the kind that politicians and PR firms pray for. Tank-II was grateful. Everyone knew that reporters had a taste for blood; best to work with people on  _ their  _ side whenever they could. 

“Gremlin, you mentioned doing vigilante work before you were recruited onto the Squad,” Roxanne said, smiling. “Are you enjoying working with a team so far? Or do you prefer going solo?”

“It’s nice to know we’ve got each other’s backs. Working solo, you’ve got to do everything yourself... It gets tiring,” Gremlin said. her hood and mask hiding her expression. “Working with others means getting more done than I could on my own.”

“I know we’re  _ all  _ 100% committed to working as a team, without concern for individual glory,” Teen Sparkle said,like she hadn’t been _ literally _ fighting Bluejay for the ‘Leader’ title since Day 1. “If we work together, I know that the Teen Hero Squad can do anything!”

* * *

The Titanium Tiger of Terror growled as it threw Tank-II off its back, then sent out another volley of laser-blasts from the guns mounted in its ears. 

Bluejay was in the air, drawing its fire: his singed hair and the burn on his shoulder showed where he hadn’t dodged fast  _ enough _ . 

Tank-II stood back up and brushed himself off. At least he’d been lucky enough to avoid the mud-puddle that Teen Sparkle found. Bedraggled, her mud-covered leotard no longer flaring with protective sparks, she was lobbing energy-bolts at the Tiger with one hand and trying to fend off the little bear-trap-jawed robots with the other. 

Gremlin was a few yards off, her hood yanked down over her head, swinging her staff blindly at the trio of ‘bots that surrounded her. 

Tank-II closed his fists and charged at the Tiger again. Eliminate the larger threat first; deal with everything else after. He could help Gremlin fight off those bots  _ after _ they’d taken out the laser-Tiger.

He couldn’t see Greenscene  _ anywhere.  _

Hopefully, that meant her mission to rescue Roxanne Ritchi was going well.

* * *

“So, tell us a little bit about your powers and abilities. What are the skill sets of our world’s future in Heroism?”

“You wish you knew about my skill set,” Greenscene muttered, her eyes suddenly  _ black  _ and endless  _ voids, deep as the abyss---! _

A blink later, her eyes were back to normal, and the room no longer felt a step away from madness and despair.

“I have all the same powers as Queen Sparkle, of course,  _ plus _ a few tricks I’ve been working on in training.” Teen Sparkle winked at the camera. “I’d demonstrate, but my best moves aren’t exactly indoor-friendly!” 

“You got that right,” Bluejay laughed. “Anyway, I’ve been working on this really cool tag-team move with Gremlin-Girl, and--”

“EXCUSE you?! It’s!  _ Gremlin! _ ” she screeched. “You  _ know _ my name, you jerk! You’re doing this on purpose!” 

“Oh, so those business cards were a misprint, were they? And the uniform and matching belt with the  _ double-g insignia _ , too?” Bluejay rolled his eyes.

“YOU--!” Gremlin broke off as Tank-II coughed and jerked his head toward the still-rolling camera. “..What I mean is… Even though Bluejay sometimes  _ gets my name wrong _ , I know that I can count on all of you when push comes to shove!”

* * *

Teen Sparkle blasted at the Tiger, narrowly missing Tank-II. She sent another shot up towards the bitey, grabby flying robots, and hit--

“Aim for the  _ ENEMY,  _ you IDIOT!” Bluejay screamed as he was blasted from the sky by a ball of sparkling energy. 

The Tiger honed in on the fallen hero, tail twitching like a flesh-and-blood feline as it prepared to pounce… which was exactly the distraction Tank-II needed to  _ finally  _ get his hands on the laser-ears and  _ crush  _ them! The Tiger bolted a moment later, throwing him off its back and onto his  _ again. _

As far as robots went, this thing was  _ tough. _ Most villains could build a dangerous fighting-machine,  _ or _ program an AI complex enough to mimic animal behavior and combat skills. Rarely both. 

The Tiger was all that, and overbuilt enough to hold together through sustained attacks from four heroes at once! 

Tank-II braced himself as the Tiger stalked closer. Bluejay and Gremlin were ready to go on the offensive.

The plan was for Bluejay to lift Gremlin high, do a synchronized flip mid-air, and use the momentum of the flip to launch her weapon-first toward the Tiger. 

Just like they’d practiced.

Except that this wasn’t a game anymore, and when she grabbed his shoulders, her hands pressed against his  _ extremely recent laser-burn _ , and he dropped her

.And they were very high, and she wasn’t falling  _ weapon-first _ at all.

She landed hard, and was immediately pinned down by the Tiger. Curved, foot-long metal claws pricked against her chest as the mechanical beast held her in place with extremely heavy paws.

Her teammates froze. The Tiger hadn’t crushed her with it’s weight  _ yet,  _ hadn’t torn her to pieces with sharp iron claws  _ yet _ , but the threat was clear.

Evil laughter echoed through the speakers.

* * *

“Do you have any concerns about your role in defending Metro City?” Roxanne asked. Tank-II shook his head.

“Nope. Strength in numbers, see?” he explained. “If any one of us can’t handle it alone… we got back-up!  _ ‘Here comes the cavalry,’ _ you know?”

* * *

Tank-II stared at Gremlin, pinned under the Tiger. She seemed to be doing her breathing-exercises; that was good, right? 

He couldn’t let her die! She was his teammate and his friend and she was pinned at the mercy of a mechanical monster, his friend and a hostage at the mercy of a ruthless Supervillain, and it was his  _ duty as a hero _ not to let her die…!

The Tiger shifted on its haunches, settling into place without letting Gremlin have an  _ inch _ , like a cat toying with its prey. Tank-II widened his stance as he kept his eyes on the Tiger, kept an eye on Gremlin, kept watching them both for sudden moves that would signal his time to spring into action

_ There had to be a time to spring into action; there had to be something he could do; there had to be a way to save her!. _

He was watching Gremlin and the Tiger, so he didn’t see Teen Sparkle start to glow. Didn’t see her hair get all glowy and floaty as the mud crumbled to dust and fell away, leaving her glowing and sparking with power. 

The  _ HUGE BOLT OF ENERGY _ that blasted the Tiger apart in an exceptionally sparkly explosion caught him by surprise!

He was knocked flat by the force of the blast. Everyone was knocked flat except for Gremlin, who was already down ( _ and who’d been so close-- too close?!-- to the center of the blast _ ), and Teen Sparkle, who floated and glowed for another ten seconds before her lights abruptly went out and she fainted to the ground. 

_ they have to be okay; they have to be okay; they have to be okay; they have to be okay! _

He started to get up, to crawl forward to check on his teammates.

That was when the rest of the flying robots with the beartrap-jaws showed up. 

There were hundreds of them,  _ bowg _ -ing and snapping jaws and pincers threateningly as the electricity in there little dome-heads crackled. Some of them had spikes; others had buzz-saws or laser-guns built in. They moved overhead like a flock of birds, or a school of fish. Tank-II remembered a documentary about how fast piranhas could devour their prey. 

They were in attack-formations, but they weren’t attacking. Yet. 

He moved to stand, and suddenly there were ten of them bearing don on him, weapons ready as mechanical growls filled the air--!

He sat back down, slowly, and put his hands behind his head in a gesture of surrender. The robots backed down as well, though three of them kept their weapons trained on him. The others followed his lead, except for Gremlin.

Gremlin still wasn’t moving.

Greenscene was nowhere to be seen.

**“Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Did you really think you could defeat me?!”**

* * *

“Are you worried about the challenges you’ll face on your first time as official City Defenders?” 

“Nope!”

“Those challenges should be worried about us!”

“No feat!”

“There’s some new heroes in town, and we’re ready for anything!”

Greenscene waited until all her teammates had said their piece. Then she leaned forward, swept her long, green curls out of her face, turned toward the camera, and smiled. Or at least, she showed a lot of very sharp, very white teeth.

“Oops! I think we jinxed it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please comment! I CRAVE the feedback!


	3. Cages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Teen Hero Squad is captured, and must work together to plot their escape! It's not as easy as it sounds.

_ Light. Too-bright, and everything hurt, and where? Who? She took a deep breath and tasted something bitter and chemical that clung to the inside of her throat, the inside of her nose, her lungs, and… _

Darkness. 

Gremlin woke up barefoot on the floor of a cage. She felt bruised and tired and  _ sore  _ in a way that she wasn’t used to feeling after a fight, not since she’d been scooped up by the League and their super-medic kits. 

She sat up and checked herself over: no shoes, but her mask was still in place, and somebody had cleaned and put band-aids over her cuts and scrapes. So that was… good? The band-aids were neon-green, not the generic “skin-color” beige used in the League infirmeries. 

She was waking up post-fight, and unknown persons had definitely gotten close enough to move her, steal her shoes, and do a medical exam.

So that was. Probably not a great sign. 

The cage was probably not a great sign.

It hurt to move. Nobody talked about how accelerated healing still came with serious post-fight pain, but there it was. Maybe Tank-II had a point about everyone needing sturdier armor. She could always layer with loose fabric over it, to maintain the aesthetic. If she could finally convince people that her circadian rhythm needed the night-shift instead of a bedtime, she might even be able to wear it without overheating...

“Where are we?! Show yourself!” Sparkles. That was Sparkles shouting. Gremlin sighed, and looked around  _ properly. _

The cage was solid-- flat metal floor and ceiling, sturdy-looking bars, no visible doors or pickable locks. Her teammates were in similar cages, spaced a few yards apart: not an impossible jump, but certainly a risky one, given that the cages were hanging from from the ceiling of… probably a warehouse… on thick chains. They were hanging at least a full story above the concrete floor of the place. Too high for anyone but Bluejay or  _ maybe  _ Tank-II to risk jumping if they just opened the cages. No obvious way to get down, especially with their flyer injured. Which meant that there was no obvious way to get out, even if she did bend the bars enough to get out of the cage.

Not. Great.

“Show yourself, you coward!” Teen Sparkle shouted, her voice echoing in the dimly lit space as she grabbed at the bars of her cage. She was barefoot too, Gremlin realized. All her teammates-- including Greenscene, whom she’d hoped might’ve avoided the sweep by working away from the rest of the group-- were barefoot, and it looked like Sparkles was the only one standing already. No shoes mean it’d be harder to run, and harder to fight, if--  _ when _ \-- they made it out of the warehouse.

This was actually looking very bad.

Suddenly, a spotlight turned on. Their captor stood before them on some kind of... high-tech, spike-covered hoverboard… thing. Big blue head and classically villainous goatee... she had to wonder if it was his real face. He definitely had a look he was going for, what with all the black leather and spikes and the platform boots. The cape completed the look--- oh. 

_ Gun holstered on his thigh for the quick draw.  _

She was supposed to be smart. She was supposed to notice the weapons  _ first _ . 

“I’d ask how you dared to challenge me,  _ Megamind _ , incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy, in my own city… but I remember being a teenager, and it seems self-explanatory.” His voice was light, casual, but his hand rested on his gun. “The real question is, who let you out of the house in those costumes? Seriously; you’re embarrassing yourselves!”

“Excuse me?” Gremlin blinked, thrown by how he’d skipped past threats and gone straight to the insults “What’s wrong with my costume?! It’s a good look!” Mysterious mask and cloak, boots matched the gloves, and unlike  _ some  _ people, her leotard didn’t  _ glitter! _

Megamind raised an eyebrow. “In case you’ve forgotten already, I’ve already proved that all of you except Tank-II need better armor. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re literally  _ covered  _ in bruises, which honestly is not a good look if you’re going to go around picking fights. If your skin can’t hold up to knives and bullets on its own, you should be wearing something that can! Or, at a bare minimum, cover up enough so that the bruises aren’t  _ visible. _ ”

“That’s what I’ve been  _ saying, _ ” Tank-II said, sounding vindicated. “It’s not about the look; it’s about keeping yourself alive under fire!”

“Wrong! The look matters at least as much as the function.  _ You two _ ,” he said, pointing at Tank-II, then Teen Sparkle “Need to establish your own brands if you want to get anywhere! First of all, if you look like a weaker version of your mentor, that’s what you’re going to be treated as.  Second of all, I’m guessing  _ none _ of you hold trademarks for your names & costumes, which is going to be a problem if you ever hope to see any sponsorship-money from the action-figures and cereal-endorsements and whatever else you heroic-types do for cash. Seriously! Show a little selfishness, and quit embarrassing yourselves with the flimsy knock-off costumes!”

“Oh, like your costume is  _ sooooo _ original. Ever think of switching to something that  _ doesn’t  _ look like a cross between a biker, Dracula, and Area 51?” Greenscene drawled. God save them all from people antagonizing villains  _ when they were at his mercy _ ; Gremlin could see the smug-ass  _ lounging pose _ from three cages down.

“Have  _ you _ ever thought about wearing an illusion that doesn’t take so much effort to maintain?” Megamind replied, raising an eyebrow. “You know that if they’d hate and fear the real you, they aren’t real friends  _ or  _ trustworthy allies, so why not  _ really  _ give them something to be afraid of? Take it from a habitual liar-- the truth always comes out eventually. You might as well turn on them before they turn on you.”

“Enough with the mind-games, Megamind!” Bluejay shouted, springing to his feet, then leaning heavily against the bars of his cage to stay there. “If you think you can brainwash Greenscene into turning evil, you’re wrong! We’re  _ friends _ , which is something an  _ evil madman like you _ could never understand! Friends fight for each other, and you won’t break us apart!”

Megamind threw his head back and laughed a very evil laugh, with some genuine amusement mixed in, and Gremlin was afraid. Laughter could switch so easily to rage, and he was tech-savvy enough to build cages with drop-away floors.  _ This _ was why she wanted to go  _ solo _ . 

Evil laughter echoed from the walls of the hollowed-out warehouse. There was nobody else to hear the laughter; nobody to hear them scream.  The problem with teammates who don’t know when to shut up is that you have to trust them with your life. 

The supervillain smiled meanly at them as his laughter finally died down.

“You aren’t  _ friends _ . Your teamwork is a joke, and you obviously can barely stand each other long enough to play nice for the cameras! If you don’t manage to get eachother killed before you’re legally old enough to drink, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of you became villains after driving the others to solo careers!” He shook his head. His giant blue head looked  _ very realistic. _ “Either way, heroes or villains, _ don’t _ try to make your careers  _ here _ . Metrocity is mine.”

He did something with the hoverboard, and suddenly he was coasting away, riding the air like a skater in the park, or a surfer on a wave, down into the maze of shadowy stacks of boxes and shelves that presumably had an exit somewhere at the far edges. That was some  _ high quality tech, _ there, and he knew how to  _ use it without killing himself _ , which was even more impressive. 

“Where are you going?!” Sparkles demanded.

“I’m off to make sure everyone else knows that Metrocity belongs to me,” he called without turning around. “But don’t worry! My other two Titanium Tigers of Terror will keep you company here while I’m gone!”

He disappeared into the shadowy maze below. Gremlin heard a crash, and then a very familiar mechanized growl. An answering growl came from the other direction. More robo-tigers.  _ Wonderful. _

After Megamind left, they all sat quietly in their cages as the robo-tigers circled below, contemplating the direness of the situation. After about one minute of that, Bluejay broke the silence.

“Great. This is just fantastic! Now what do we do?”

“Now we either escape ourselves, or all for help and wait to be rescued,” Tank-II said practically. “Teen Sparkle, don’t you have that emergency tracker-button with the distress-signal built into your suit?”

“I got rid of that the first chance I could. Didn’t want to be spied on,” she said, slumping down to the floor of her cage. “Besides, we don’t need to call for help. We’ve five perfectly capable superheroes; we can rescue ourselves!” Barefoot teenagers in cages guarded by bots they provably  _ couldn’t beat  _ count as perfectly capable superheroes, now. Okay then.

“Gremlin, you’re good with tech and stuff, right?” Bluejay called. “Can you open the cages or sabotage the tigers or something?”

“Sabotage requires tools, baseline knowledge of the systems, and opportunity to access the thing  _ before _ it reaches the field,” she said, rolling her eyes at the sheer idiocy of the request. “I have  _ none  _ of those things right now. Also, I can’t pick the locks on cages that  _ don’t have locks or doors. _ ”

“Oh come on; I thought you were supposed to be smart!”

“Smart and tech-savvy is not the same thing as some magical ability to control robots with my mind!” she snapped. “If I’m gonna do something like that, I need something to work with, you idiot!”

“Alright, okay, let’s just calm down and break the problem down into smaller parts,” Sparkles interjected, using her Rational, Mature Voice. “First question: what happened to our shoes?” 

“Uuugggghhhh, it’s all about shoes with you, isn’t it!” Greenscene groaned. “Can you get your mind off of fashion for five minutes of your life?”

“Excuse you! I do NOT--”

“Listen, we’re in a hostile situation, and the lack of footwear is a relevant issue,” Tank-II interrupted. “Unless you’re comfortable with the idea of walking barefoot on broken glass, finding something to protect our feet is an important priority!”

“How did YOU even get captured in the first place, huh?” Sparkles snipped, glaring openly at Greenscene. “You weren’t even WITH us when we were fighting the Tiger!”

“Because I was trying to rescue the hostage  _ like we agreed! _ It’s not my fault there were invisible nets around her! Who puts nets like that under a sky-drop?”

“Maybe someone who fights a flier on the regular?” Bluejay said, hovering for a moment to make his point. “Sometimes people remember to look up, Greenscene!”

“Ooh, like you did that one time in the kitchen when you tried to  _ steal  _ from my  _ personal stash?! _ ” The shadows suddenly seemed deeper, sharper somehow, and for just a moment, the room went dark and Greenscene’s eyes glowed. Bluejay was unintimidated.

“I wanted a midnight snack; so sue me! Sheesh; pulling creepy shit like that is why everyone thinks you’re gonna turn evil!” he snapped. Gremlin sucked in a breath as Greenscene stiffened. Sharpened.

“Oh. I see how it is.” There was such a contrast between dark and light; the contrast was so obvious in such moments. “Good to know where we all stand. I’ve only been part of this team longer than you have; it’s not like you have any reason to  _ trust _ me after all this time…”

“Guys, guys, let’s not fight right now? Please?” Tank-II said, raising his hands in a soothing gesture. “We’re all on the same side here! Can we please just work together and focus on escaping now, and then deal with internal Squad conflicts later?”

“Okay, that works for me! I’m not the one turning this into a fight!” Bluejay said forcefully, plastering on a smile. “What’s your escape plan, big guy?”

“I don’t have a plan; that’s you guys’s job!” Tank-II denied. “I’m a hitter, not a thinker; you all know that!” What Gremlin  _ knew  _ was that Tank-II liked to play dumb to avoid the power-politics. But a Supervillain’s hideout was  _ not  _ the place to hash that out.

“Once again, the burden of leadership falls to me!” Teen Sparkle announced. Her voice was bright, but she still hadn’t gotten up off the floor of her cage. “Bluejay, as our flier, we need you to scout out a way for us to leave this building without having to fight the tigers again.”

“First of all, I don’t take orders from you. Second of all, I can’t bust out of this cage because I do not have super-strength,  _ and  _ my arm is still injured from the lasers!” Bluejay snapped. “Third of all, how much you wanna bet those tigers’ll open fire with their lasers if I start flying around outside the cage?”

“He’s right,” Gremlin said, thinking of the battle. Of having to fight  _ two robo-tigers at once _ when they were already battered. “We need a different plan. Ideally, one that doesn’t lead to the robo-tigers picking us off with their lasers.”

“What if I open up the bars on my cage, jump over to Bluejay’s cage, open the bars there, and then he can find an escape-route while I wait in his cage?” Tank-II suggested. Gremlin shook her head in response.

“Too risky. These cages are spaced pretty far apart, and I don’t want to see what’d happen if you missed the jump. Let’s keep thinking.”

“If it were up to you, we’d never take any risks,” Teen Sparkle complained. “We’re heroes! We can’t just sit here and do nothing while some Supervillain goes on a rampage! What are you, chicken? Can’t handle it when things get real?”

“There’s nothing cowardly about thinking things through and looking out for your teammates,” Tank-II said, before Gremlin answer without growling. “Greenscene, you’ve trained in escape-artist stuff. What’s your take on the situation?”

“You sure you don’t want to ask someone less  _ obviously evil  _ for advice?”

Gremlin closed her eyes and sighed. She ached all over. They were trapped very up high, in cages. There were vicious robo-tigers with laser-guns circling below. And she had four other people to worry about. Meanwhile, Megamind was probably causing havoc while they bickered. Who  _ knows  _ what kind of plan he had for the city, with Metro Man incommunicado and the back-up  _ apparently helpless against him? _

Great. 


	4. Conferance Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luckster updates the other Heroes on the situation.

The command-center of the safehouse was lime-green. 

Walls, tables, chairs, computers: all a plasticy shade of lime green that complimented the watermelon-pink of the next room over. While he normally wasn’t one to critique the interior design of a place he was staying at for free, Luckster couldn’t help himself. He judged the room, and Queen Sparkle’s aesthetic tastes, extremely harshly as he spread jam on his toast and watched three different channels of local newsfeed on mute-with-subtitles, because he was a multitasker extraordinaire, and the lime-green room deserved it. 

First channel was replaying footage from the battle-- not bad for an early fight, though he’d hoped their teamwork was better than that by now. It wasn’t  _ their  _ fault the robot was ridiculously over-engineered, but there were definitely places where they could’ve worked together to hit it more efficiently. But that was the sort of thing that came with experience. 

_ He’d sent a bunch of inexperienced kids out to fight a robot that would give most career-heroes trouble. _

He licked the jam from his knife, then without looking, he tossed his toast high in the air. It landed directly on his plate, jam-side up. No mess; no ruined snack. Lucky him. 

Second channel showed a public address from the mayor. “ _ Carry on with business as usual, as we pray for the safety of our new heroes, blah blah blah, every faith the League of Heroes, blah blah blah… _ ” Luckster was thinking about switching it, if he could find a better newsfeed. Waiting for a politician to have something useful to say would take more time than he had to spare.

He pulled out his dice-bag, shook it a little, and poured its contents out on the table: a rainbow of classic six-sided dice, 4-sided dice. 20-sided dice, and every other kind of dice he could find at the gaming shops and specialty sellers. It was good to have a variety, especially when you needed to double-check your numbers, or roll the dice on a particularly complex situation. 

He checked and double-checked the way they landed. Natural 20. Double-sixes. 4th point. They’d all landed on the typically-defined ‘luckiest’ sides up. Every last one.

The third station showed police surrounding a bank that Megamind was currently in the process of robbing. Some might expect him, as a Hero, to do something about that. However, since it didn’t look like anyone there was actively dying, Luckster felt that his time was better spent on other things. Locating the young heroes that the bank-robbing super-villain had so recently vanished, for example. Besides, Megamind looked extremely well-armed and had a small army robots with him as back-up, and Luck wasn’t necessarily the most combat-oriented superpower. Unlike some people Luckster knew how to pick his battles.

He pulled from his sleeve a large, colorful rubber ball, and threw it hard against the opposite wall. It ricocheted around the room, narrowly missing the light-fixture, the vace, his coffee-- hit a button on the main control panel, causing two more screens to flicker to life-- then bounced off a chair and came a stop by his feet.

The two newly activated screens showed Queen Sparkle and Tank, respectively. What with everything else going on, he’d nearly forgotten about the ‘check-in’ meeting scheduled for about this time. Lucky he hadn’t missed it.

“Ah Luckster, punctual as always,” Queen Sparkle said cooly, her arms crossed and the light glittering off her tiara, her costume, and the diamond-tipped claws on her gloves. “Would you care to explain what happened to my daughter?”

“They went out on their first solo mission, and in accordance with standard League protocol, I took a step back to see how they handled it. They got beat up by an overbuilt robot-tiger, courtesy of a supervillain named Megamind, then disappeared right after the fight.” He leaned back in his chair and retrieved the ball. “There was no word for a few hours, then the supervillain surfaced to go on a bank-robbing spree. He’s announcing the Teen Hero Squad as captured, not dead, but I haven’t been able to get a read on their exact location yet.” 

“What about the hostage-- what was her name, Metro Man’s girlfriend-- Roxanne?” Tank asked, his voice a game attempt at military-grade evenness. “If we figure out where Megamind’s keeping her, we might have a lead to the Squad.”   
“No dice,” Luckster said, holding up a d-12 illustratively. “She was held on top of-- and off the edge of-- a downtown skyscraper, but escaped right after the battle, while Megamind was distracted figuring out what to do about the whole Teen Hero Squad situation. Said on the news that the spot wasn’t equipped to imprison five supers, especially on such short notice.”

“Hey, she’s a reporter, right? Do you think she’d be willing to snoop around a little, help with the investigation?” Tank suggested, and Queen Sparkle rolled her eyes.

“If she really wanted to help, she could’ve attacked Megamind instead of just running away when she got out of the rope,” she scoffed. “Grabbed a weapon or something and aimed for the head; it’s not like it’d be hard to miss. I swear, the learned helplessness of these damsels is a disgrace to the entire feminist movement.”

“You know,it’s generally better for civilians to  _ not  _ go around attacking supervillains,” Tank said mildly. “That kind of thing can be lethally dangerous for people who don’t have superpowers.” 

“All I’m saying is that we won’t progress as a society of women keep waiting around for a hero to save them, instead of getting out there and saving themselves.”

“Technically, she  _ did _ save herself, by running away,” Luckster pointed out, taking a bite of his toast. “Also, I think we’re getting off-topic. I found Teen Sparkle’s tracer in the kitchen behind the cookie-jar two days ago. All the others are no longer transmitting, with the last known location being the street where they had the battle.”

“Can you try that thing you do, with the map and the darts?” Tank asked. “Unless you think your luck is going sour again…”

“My luck is fine! I tested it!” Luckster snapped, viciously biting into his toast again. “Also, I can’t do much with the dart thing unless I get a more detailed map of the area to work with. The best I’ve got on hand right now is a map of the state, and all that can tell me is that they haven’t been moved out of Metro City so far.”

“Maybe see if the local tourism board has anything? I’d prefer to have them found sooner rather than later,” Queen Sparkle said, tiny sparks rising as she tapped her fingers against her arm. “Not that I don’t have total faith in the Teen Hero Squad’s ability to get themselves out of trouble and defeat this small-time evil-doer, especially under my daughter’s brilliant leadership, but knowing where they are would grant me some peace of mind.”

“You and me both on the ‘peace of mind’ thing, Queenie, because my sources say that Megamind is less small-time and more  _ territiorial, _ ” Luckster said, scanning the news feeds for updates. No need to mention that he hadn’t checked in with his sources until after; they had more pressing things to deal with right now. “Word on the street is that he gets a cut of every crime in the city, and between that and the protection rackets, it’s no wonder he struts around like he owns the place. I haven’t been able to narrow my searches much either, because apparently this whole city counts as his turf.”

“Have you had a chance to put pressure on his allies, teammates, or partners in crime?” Queen Sparkle asked, unimpressed. “If you actually left the safehouse, you could find his favorite bar and be done interrogating his most talkative underlings before midnight!”

“That’s assuming he has talkative associates. Or any associates,” Tank interjected, before Luckster could say a word about how his powers _ weren’t nearly as easy to aim as Queenie seemed to think…! _ “The only partner-in-crime linked with Megamind is an unnamed minion he cooked up in the lab. His file says he’s got an ongoing feud with the Doom Syndicate, a personal grudge against Metro Man, and a personal policy of picking fights with anyone-- hero, villain, gangster, secret agent, military representative,  _ anyone _ \-- who so much as looks at him the wrong way.”

“So, do either have any suggestions for how to save the Teen Hero Squad from the hands of this extremely anti-social supervillain? Preferably ones that don’t rely on my notoriously unpredictable powers for any chance of success…” he trailed off ass all three of the news-channels abruptly cut off in static, then switched over to show Megamind, posed upon a throne of money-bags under a spotlight. “--Hold that thought; he’s making a statement!” Luckster said, unmuting the other screens so that they could all hear. 

_ “People of Metrocity! It seems that Metro Man has at last fled the city out of sheer terror of my evil intellect! In the absence of any  _ competent _ heroes coming forward to challenge me, I can now do whatever I want! Think of this first round of robberies as a collection of the tribute due to me as Evil Overlord!”  _

The heroes were silent, for once, listening with rapt attention to the villainous monologue. 

_ “And just in case anyone dares to challenge me, I would like to remind you all what happened to the last so-called heroes to try!”  _

The feed cut to a warehouse with five cages hanging from the ceiling which also had a still-smouldering hole in it. Two of the cages had been ripped apart, the bars stolen to provide a very precarious linkage between the other three. Gremlin was making a leap from the roof of her cage to the hole in the ceiling, while Bluejay hovered nearby and Greenscene and Teen Sparkle took turns drawing the fire of the two robo-tigers below. 

Tank caught Gremlin and pulled her to the roof, out of sight, while Bluejay swooped in to assist Greenscene. And then cameras cut out, and feed switched back to Megamind, who was leaning forward in his throne of money and staring in outraged consternation at something just off screen. 

_ “What?! HOW are they escaping my ingenious trap--- I mean! Nothing to see there, my power in unparalleled, and my authority as Evil Overlord of Metrocity is unquestionable! Prepare yourselves, Metrocity! Destiny is at hand!” _

There was another burst of static, and the screens switched over to three variations of ‘Technical Difficulties’ screen-cards. There was a moment of silence. To nobody’s surprise, Queen Sparkle was the first to break it.

“I told you there was nothing to worry about, with my daughter in charge!”

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write this story for AGES, and I am thrilled to have it going at last!
> 
> Comments and reviews welcome and encouraged! You words FUEL my will to write!


End file.
